1. Thank the people you asked to help carry out your will.

The people who said yes to helping carry out your end-of-life wishes agreed to sacrifice their time, emotions and money if you pass away. Even if they never become your child’s guardian or have to make a difficult decision as your power of attorney, they still felt the pain of imagining what that would be like—and they still said yes. That’s something to be grateful for.

And even though it stinks if somebody declined a role, you’ve still got something to be grateful for. They said no to something they didn’t think they could do well—that’s called honesty, and it’s the backbone of good relationships. And because of that, you were free to build the right team of people to help carry out your wishes.

2. Give instructions to the people who said yes.

We don’t want to blind you with the obvious, but here it is: Your loved one needs instructions on how to fill the role they accepted!

Personal Representative

Your personal representative manages the process of carrying out your will—so they need to know where your will is. You should store your will in a legacy drawer with other important legal documents like your ID, marriage or divorce certificates, and financial account information. Tell your personal representative where those documents are and how to access them if you protect them with locks or security codes.

You should also write your personal representative a letter of instruction that includes contact information for guardians, powers of attorney, beneficiaries, financial advisors and anyone else whose help they might need.

Guardian(s)

You should give your child’s guardian a copy of the will and a letter of instruction that includes important information about your child, like their medical history, allergies and some of their favorite things. Then write one more letter—to your child. Tell them how much you love them and anything you want them to know. You can leave this letter with your child’s guardian to be delivered at a later time.

For pets, give the guardian a letter with care instructions.

Medical Power of Attorney

If this person has to make a medical decision for you during an emergency, they’ll need to access this legal form fast. That’s why they should have their own copy of the form. (And they should know where and how to access your copy, in case theirs gets lost or destroyed.)

Financial Power of Attorney

Tell your financial power of attorney where and how to access your financial information. But don’t give your account numbers, PINs or other details to anyone other than your spouse. Even though you trust this other person, you don’t want your financial info floating around where it could fall into the wrong hands. You just want your power of attorney to have access to your account information if they need it. The one thing you can—and should—give them is a copy of the form naming them as your financial power of attorney.

3. Talk to your kids.

The last thing your kids need is to lose you and wonder where they’re going to live. Tell them who their guardian is so they can have certainty in a scary time. But keep this conversation age-appropriate. You don’t want to scare your kids, after all.

For young kids, you might say, “Mommy and Daddy love you, and we want to make sure you’re always safe. If something ever happens to us, Uncle John and Aunt Jo will take care of you. But don’t worry, because we’re planning to be around for a long time.”

For older kids, you can go into more detail about what a will is and why it’s important. You may even tell them it’s something they’ll need to do when they turn 18. But even your teen will need plenty of reassurance that your will is a precaution, not a sign of a disaster that’s close at hand.

This is one of the most important conversations you’ll have about your will, so talk to your spouse first. When you’re both on the same page, it’ll be easier to help your kids feel safe and loved.

4. ­­­­Talk to your beneficiaries and other relatives.

After your will is signed and notarized, do a live reading. That’s when you gather your loved ones and read your will to them while you’re still alive. It sounds weird, but it’s necessary. When you tell your loved ones what’s in the will, there won’t be any unpleasant surprises after your death. Instead, you’ll set clear expectations for them while you’re alive, and they can process their emotions better when they’re not grieving.

But let’s be real: A live reading of your will might cause some conflict. If your sister-in-law is your kid’s guardian, your parents may get upset that you didn’t pick them. If you’re not giving your nephew any money because he’s making bad life choices, he’s probably going to get mad. We’ve all got a relative who’s a travel agent for guilt trips. So you’re going to have to be strong and say, “I’m sorry you feel that way. But this is my decision, and I’m going to stick to it.”

Setting firm boundaries like that can be hard. But it’s better to face this conflict now—when you’re here to deal with it—than to leave your loved ones fighting off Irrational Irene in a courtroom after you’re gone. Plus, a live reading of your will can actually lead to good things too. It brings you together with the people you care most about—and gives you a chance to tell them how much you love them.

Because at the end of the day, that’s why you’re making a will. You love these people, so you want to protect them with a rock-solid plan for the future. Now it’s time to put that plan into motion and create your will.