5 Pillars of Wellness for Business Leaders

This article is based on a powerful keynote from Dr. John Delony—one of the leading voices on mental health and leadership.

If you’re a small-business owner, odds are high you’re carrying the weight of a team, a family and a thousand invisible expectations. You’re trying to hold it all together while the world around you speeds up, stretches you thin, and demands more. And what does that lead to?

• A body that’s bone-tired
• A brain that won’t turn off
• Relationships held together by group texts and a couple of stale inside jokes

And yet, you keep going.

But here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: You can’t build a business that lasts if you don’t build a life that lasts.

I’m not here just to tell you how to be more productive or achieve some unrealistic version of balance. I’m here to give you keys for creating a sustainable life—a whole life—that supports you as a human being first and a leader second.

It starts with five pillars of wellness that we’ll get to in a few minutes, but first, I want to clear up two things.

What You Need to Know Before We Dive In

1. There’s no such thing as mental health alone.

Mental health is tied to every aspect of your health and life. Over the last couple hundred years, mental health professionals have convinced us mental health is something we should focus on by itself. But there's no separation between mental, physical, spiritual, relational and emotional health. You can’t be mentally well and destroy your body with what you put in it or what you listen to all day. And you can’t get in tip-top physical shape if you don't sleep and you don’t have friends and you’re not dealing with your anxiety and your depression. It all works together. Health is health is health.

2. We, as a culture, have slapped a medical diagnosis on everything.

Don’t get me wrong, mental health is real, depression is real, and anxiety is real. OCD and ADHD, those things are real as real can be. And . . . we’ve made sadness, heartbreak, frustration and even uncertainty feel like diagnoses instead of just part of being human. We’re so uncomfortable with different ideas that we label them instead of learning from them.

We have to end that.

So, I’m calling on a generation of business leaders like you to continue being crazy ambitious. I want you to have fire in your gut to solve big issues and do huge things in your work, and I want you to resist losing your soul chasing success that ultimately leaves you empty.

Why? Because you’re worth building a business you love as an extension of a life you love—not at the expense of living numb or burned out.

I want you building a marriage that works and friendships that fill you up. And I want you to enjoy having kids who actually want to spend time at your home because it’s warm and it’s safe.

And with that, let’s dive right in to the pillars of wellness that will help you build that kind of life.

5 Pillars of Wellness for a Sustainable Life

Get these things right, and everything else starts to fall into place.

1. You’ve got to have other people in your life.

This isn’t optional. It’s not a personality trait or a lifestyle preference. It’s a biological, hardwired requirement.

If you’ve ever seen me speak, you might’ve heard me say this: Navy SEALs don’t experience anxiety on mission. They struggle when they roll off the team. Why? Because they trained like crazy and were tightly connected to people who had their backs—literally. That’s what tells your body, We’re good. We can handle whatever comes.

Now contrast that with the college student hyperventilating before a math exam. Their body is screaming, You’re alone. It’s all on you.

As a small-business owner, you may feel more like the college kid than the SEAL. You’ve built a world where it’s just you. No wonder your body’s panicking. That’s a recipe for disaster.

You need people. Friends. A coach. Accountability partners. A spouse you actually share life with, not just a co-manager of schedules and bills. People who tell you the truth, laugh with you, carry the load, and walk through the fire next to you.

Community isn’t just about connection. It’s also about perspective—offering new ways to see a problem, other approaches to solving it, and reminders that you’re not alone or crazy.

Community gives you wisdom too. And real wisdom sits on a three-legged stool:

• You’ve got to have knowledge—the actual, earned, studied kind, not I watched a TED Talk kind.
• You’ve got to have experience—you’ve lived it, tried it, failed at it.
• And you’ve got to have mentorship—you’ve passed it on to someone else.

None of that happens alone.

Have people in your life you can trust and talk to. And if you’re married, go all in. Don’t treat your spouse like your emotional dumping ground or your glorified executive assistant. Build something together.

2. You’ve got to take care of your mind, body and soul.

This is where most people want to skip ahead. But you can’t.

Your body is keeping the score, whether you’re paying attention or not.

Anxiety. Depression. ADHD. Chronic pain. Insomnia. Panic attacks. Overeating. Rage. These aren’t random. They’re not all caused by childhood trauma or bad genes or bad luck. A huge part of the rise in mental and physical health issues is this: We’ve built a world our bodies can’t live in.

You’re inside 90% of the day. You’re eating food your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize. You’re staying up too late staring at a screen, waking up too early to check your phone, and wondering why you feel terrible.

If you treated your car like you treat your body, you’d be stuck on the side of the road.

Here’s where to start:

• Sleep: Go to bed. Turn off your phone. Sleep like your life depends on it—because it does.
• Movement: Walk. Stretch. Lift. You don’t need six-pack abs. You need to move your body so it doesn’t fall apart.
• Nutrition: Eat like someone who matters. Find a quality diet and stay committed to it. Eat real food and pay close attention to energy consumption (calories in and calories out).
• Mental strength: You can’t outwork trauma. You can’t pray anxiety away without also dealing with what’s causing it. Go to counseling. Sit still for five minutes a day and listen to your thoughts. Then challenge the lies you hear. Include small, daily mental health activities like deep breathing, journaling or taking a walk without your phone. These simple actions can help regulate your nervous system and give your brain the space to reset.
• Human connection: I’m talking intimacy, closeness, friendship, touch. It actually calms your body to be with people you enjoy.
• Soul care: Your soul needs rest, silence and meaning. Prayer. Worship. Meditation. Nature. Whatever grounds you in something bigger than yourself. You’re designed to live for more than just you. If you serve money, you’ll never have enough. If you serve beauty, you’ll always see what you call flaws, and somebody will always be more beautiful. If you worship collections and shiny things, there will always be something more to add to your pile of stuff. If you worship being right all the time, you’re going to find yourself all alone.You have to plug in to something bigger than you, period. That’s a neuroscience statement, and it’s a religious statement.

And if you’re thinking, I don’t have time for all this stuff, then I’d ask you, how much longer can you afford not to?

• Your business will not survive if you burn out.
• Your family won’t thrive if you’re barely holding it together.
• You are of no use to your team or your people if your body and mind are on fire all the time.

3. You’ve got to be intentional.

Most of us don’t decide to destroy our lives. We just stop paying attention.

It happens slowly. You get busy. You lose touch. You say yes to one more thing. You sweep the hard conversations under the rug. You stop checking in with your spouse. You put your head down to work harder, and by the time you look up, you don’t recognize the person in the mirror.

Wellness isn’t accidental. It’s not reactive. It’s proactive.

Some of the most common questions I get are:

• How do I do this?
• How do I find time to work out?
• How do I find the energy to be romantic after a long day of work?
• How do I love him when he keeps putting his underwear in a pile by the bath?

You don’t stumble into wellness. You build it. You don’t find time for your marriage. You make it. You don’t drift into peace. You create it.

That’s what intentionality looks like. And it starts with identity—not just goals. Goals help you get to a thing. Identity goes way deeper.

So, ask yourself, Who do I want to be?

Then build your habits, your calendar and your community around that identity. If you want to be a connected dad, be home for bedtime. If you want to be a healthy leader, turn your phone off and go to the gym. If you want a thriving marriage, ask your spouse what they need and listen.

A buddy of mine once told me, “The man who loves the journey will travel infinitely further than the man obsessed with the destination.” I love that. When you enjoy the process—not just the prize—you grow more, last longer, and have way more fun.

How do you do it? Drum roll . . . Just do it. Yeah. Just do it. Stop overanalyzing. You don’t need a 47-point plan. You need one honest decision.

• Start small and build routines. They’re the foundation that allows you to build habits of wellness.
• Track your habits. It’s about intentionality. That includes tracking your physical routines and your mental health activities.
• Reverse engineer the kind of life you want. Ask yourself, What do I want our house to feel like when I walk in my home? Then set things up to get there.

Related article: How to Grow as a Leader

4. You’ve got to be uncomfortable.

Our world is built for ease. Push a button, and food shows up. Netflix plays the next episode before you even have a chance to breathe. Your brain doesn’t have to work for anything.

And yet, you’re more anxious than ever. More depressed. More overwhelmed.

That’s because comfort is killing us.

We avoid discomfort at all costs. But discomfort is where growth lives. You don’t get stronger by doing what’s easy. You get stronger by doing what’s hard—on purpose.

• Tell your team the truth.
• Say you’re sorry.
• Forgive others first.
• Wake up early to set your whole day up well.
• Put your phone down when your kid walks in.
• Have the hard conversation instead of avoiding it for another year.
• Figure out where you need to turn up the heat, build some muscle, and do the hard thing.

Now, go make better choices.

Dave Ramsey told me once when he decided to get serious about his health, “I know what I need to do. It’s just going to suck.”

Then he did it. You can too. We all can.

Related articles:
5 Habits That Kill Team Unity
Leadership Traits and Tips to Help You Become a Successful Leader

5. You’ve got to understand that you’re not the center of the universe.

This is the last pillar, and maybe the hardest pill to swallow.

We’ve built a culture obsessed with me. My brand. My time. My worth. My grind. My vibe.

And it’s wrecking us.

You weren’t meant to carry the weight of the universe. That’s God’s job. No wonder you’re anxious and not sleeping. You weren’t meant to be the solution to every problem or the hero in every story.

Related articles:
Employee Empowerment
How to Delegate to Your Team

You were made to be a part of something bigger.

What might it look like to not be the center of the universe?

• Pray.
• Serve.
• Tip generously.
• Stop needing to be right all the time.
• Take care of your employees. Reach out when they’re hurting.
• Maybe start a reading program with your staff or do a childcare night so parents can go on a date. What’s a need you can fill for others?

The moment you realize the world doesn’t revolve around you is the moment you get your peace back. Because finally—finally—you can breathe again. You give yourself permission to be a person. And that’s enough.

Final Thought

The world is hard enough already. So why make it harder by living disconnected, depleted and distracted?

If you’re out of alignment, here’s some good news: You can realign. You can’t shortcut the work. You can’t hack your way out of being human. But you can build a life that lasts—and a life worth living.

And while you’re building that life, keep this truth at the front of your mind: Worth doesn’t come from your revenue, your team size or your square footage. It comes from the inside out.

Your worth is about who you love and who loves you back. The kind of people who know all your stuff—the good, the hard, the funny and the dark—and still say, “We’re in this together, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Let’s get to work.

Check out more from Dr. John Delony.