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Dave Says: Remember, everyone makes mistakes

Dear Dave,
I am on Baby Step 2 of your plan, and I am about four months away from being debt-free. My younger brother is a good person, but he is very careless with his finances. He is always asking to borrow money from me. I don’t want to be mean or damage our relationship, but what is the best way to respond to a sibling who continually asks for money?
James

Dear James,
Honesty is always a good thing. If I were in your shoes, I’d just tell him the truth. Sit down with him, and have a friendly—but real—conversation where you let him know you’re working hard to get out of debt and don’t have any cash to spare. Explain that you’ve decided being in debt is dumb, you want a better life and that you don’t plan to borrow or loan money anymore.

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You’ve got to look at the big picture in situations like this. You’re not helping someone if you participate in their misbehavior with them. Sometimes, especially when it comes to family, you have to love someone enough to tell them the truth. And in some cases, that can mean saying no and telling them to grow up and get their act together.

You’re not responsible for your brother’s reaction to all this, James, but you can control your words and use them in a caring manner. Do this with a kind spirit, and remember we all make mistakes. He may take it well, or not so well. But you’re not really helping someone who’s immature or irresponsible with money when you give them cash. At that point, you’re an enabler. It’s like giving a drunk a drink.

God bless you, James!
— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

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About the author

Ramsey Solutions

Ramsey Solutions has been committed to helping people regain control of their money, build wealth, grow their leadership skills, and enhance their lives through personal development since 1992. Millions of people have used our financial advice through 22 books (including 12 national bestsellers) published by Ramsey Press, as well as two syndicated radio shows and 10 podcasts, which have over 17 million weekly listeners. Learn More.

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