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What to Do When Spouses Don't Agree on Money

One of the most common questions Dave receives about money is, “How do I get my spouse on board with the money?” If you’re having this problem, then you’re not alone. It’s a situation that a lot of husbands and wives face.

To answer this question, let’s start by pointing out one thing that you should not do. Never nag and whine to your spouse about his or her lack of participation. For example, don’t bring up the fact that “Dave says we have to do this, or Dave says we have to do that.” Beating them up with another person’s advice will only cause them to be defensive.

So what are you supposed to do? First, just be honest and up front. Your spouse isn’t a mind reader. Simply explain that you are excited about working together to get out of debt and build wealth. That will hopefully get them fired up and wanting to join your crusade as well.

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If that doesn’t move you toward some good conversations, then you may have to work a little harder. Write down some of the points that concern you—and explain why you think they are an issue. Sometimes, the written word is the most effective way to communicate.

If you are trying to get your husband’s attention, try posing the financial situation as a battle or an adventure. Your guy might like this approach. Sit down with him, take his hands, and tell him that you would think it’s romantic for him to join you in this battle. Even the most thick-skulled guys will get the hint.

If you are trying to get your wife on board, remember that most women are wired for relationships and security. Talk about how spending time together on a budget helps improve communication and creates intimacy and unity. Be genuine. You probably won’t need to say much more.

Husbands and wives must work together in order to win with money. Two horses working together can pull a huge wagon up a hill. But if they pull in different directions, they will simply turn the wagon into firewood. Bottom line: If you aren’t working together, it’s almost impossible to win.

Financial Peace University will help open the doors to these conversations and many more. It will give you opportunities to get on the same page with money . . . and have fun at the same time. Start a free trial of Ramsey+ today and get full access to Financial Peace University!

Ramsey Solutions

About the author

Ramsey Solutions

Ramsey Solutions has been committed to helping people regain control of their money, build wealth, grow their leadership skills, and enhance their lives through personal development since 1992. Millions of people have used our financial advice through 22 books (including 12 national bestsellers) published by Ramsey Press, as well as two syndicated radio shows and 10 podcasts, which have over 17 million weekly listeners.